‘Phew’ today was a hectic day at work, I had to stay back to celebrate a colleague’s marriage and it just reminded me of how excited I was for my marriage. Time to crawl in bed and reminisce the day I married the love of my life. I pull out my wedding album from the nightstand, yes, I keep my wedding album right beside that is how much I am in love with Aakash, my better half, the man of my dreams. Not a day passes by where I don’t flip through these pages, if I could, I’d marry him again, and again, and every day after that. It is already 10 pm, he should have been home by now, he must be hungry as well. I should call him; we can have dinner together like we always do.
Aisha picks up her phone and dials his number, one ring, then two, then another three, and no answers. So, she assumes he is busy and proceeds to the dining hall and has her dinner while watching some Netflix. After an hour or so, Aisha has fallen asleep on the couch, while waiting for Akash, he comes home at 12, Aisha woke up from the faint noise of him opening the front door, “Hi love”, she says. He smiles at her and proceeds to hug her, “let’s have dinner, I am starving.” She gently kisses his cheek, “I can tell you’re really hungry, and guess what, I made your favorite, Burnt Garlic rice and Manchurian!” He smiles at her “I’ll wash up and be back”. She goes to the kitchen, warms up the food, and sets it on the table for him. He comes and sits down next to her, and notices only one plate. ‘Why aren’t you eating?’ he asks. ‘Oh, I already ate’ she exclaims. He looks at her in disagreement and with a disappointed voice asks her “without me?”. “I was hungry and I was not sure when you were coming back home”. He gets off the table without saying a word and giving weird looks to her and goes onto the couch to watch the Tv. She follows him and says” but honey, I always wait for you to have dinner, it’s just once that I was very exhausted and wanted to eat food”. “Exactly, why did you eat today if you never ate supper without me,” shouted Akash. You weren’t going to pass away, so you could have waited for an hour. The realization that I had been rationalizing his inappropriate behavior and making excuses for it hit me hard. Perhaps my wonderful marriage is only a mental illusion. Once more, I argued in my thoughts that perhaps he was simply having a difficult day at work and that I was overreacting and exaggerating. But I can’t say I’m very content with my marriage either. I had trouble sleeping that day since I wasn’t sure whether the issue was mine or whether I need to speak out against it or if it was just a normal conflict.
The very following day, I went to the mental health clinic at my workplace and thoroughly described my predicament to the counselor there. It helped me see that I’ve been avoiding the problem, which has impacted how happy I am in this marriage. Determining if you are dating a bully or narcissist or whether you were simply having a typical argument is crucial. Bullying may be as subtle as teasing, withholding financial liberty, or showing people disdain in public. It does not necessarily take the form of harassment or violence. Please feel free to contact AMITA @ http://3.6.94.50 for more support if you believe that you are struggling with similar experiences.
Riddhi Arora